If You Are in Danger
If you are being hurt, threatened, or controlled by your spouse or ex-spouse, your safety comes first. Nothing in this study — including the chapters on forgiveness and reconciliation — asks you to stay in or return to a dangerous situation. In the U.S., call 911 in an emergency, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (or text START to 88788).
If you have thoughts of ending your life, or feel you can’t go on, please reach out today. Call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S.), or go to the nearest emergency room. Then tell a pastor, a friend, or a family member. You are worth saving, and this pain is not the end of your story.
This study is not a substitute for professional care. Divorce after a long marriage is one of the most stressful events a person can experience. A licensed Christian counselor can help in ways a devotional can’t. Seeking help is not a lack of faith. It’s wisdom.
This week: The Story Isn’t Over
Who you are now, and the future God is still writing
This is week 5 of 5 in the Divorce Recovery series. Each day has Open, Text, Heart, Practice, and Prayer.
For small groups
- Who were you before your marriage? What parts of yourself are you rediscovering?
- Read Joel 2:25. What would it look like for God to “repay the years the locusts have eaten” in your life?
- Who is one person you could comfort with the comfort you’ve received?
Related: Divorce Recovery: When the Ground Gives Way (7 days)
Related: Divorce Recovery: Carrying the Family Forward (7 days)
Related: The Story Isn’t Over: A Free 35-Day Divorce Recovery Bible Study
Week 5: The Story Isn’t Over (7 days)
Week 5 of Divorce Recovery looks forward: who you are now, the years the locusts ate, and the future God is still writing. Your story isn't over.
If You Are in Danger
If you are being hurt, threatened, or controlled by your spouse or ex-spouse, your safety comes first. Nothing in this study — including the chapters on forgiveness and reconciliation — asks you to stay in or return to a dangerous situation. In the U.S., call 911 in an emergency, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (or text START to 88788).
If you have thoughts of ending your life, or feel you can't go on, please reach out today. Call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S.), or go to the nearest emergency room. Then tell a pastor, a friend, or a family member. You are worth saving, and this pain is not the end of your story.
This study is not a substitute for professional care. Divorce after a long marriage is one of the most stressful events a person can experience. A licensed Christian counselor can help in ways a devotional can't. Seeking help is not a lack of faith. It's wisdom.
This week: The Story Isn't Over
Who you are now, and the future God is still writing
This is week 5 of 5 in the Divorce Recovery series. Each day has Open, Text, Heart, Practice, and Prayer.
For small groups
- Who were you before your marriage? What parts of yourself are you rediscovering?
- Read Joel 2:25. What would it look like for God to "repay the years the locusts have eaten" in your life?
- Who is one person you could comfort with the comfort you've received?
Related: Divorce Recovery: When the Ground Gives Way (7 days)
Related: Divorce Recovery: Carrying the Family Forward (7 days)
Related: The Story Isn’t Over: A Free 35-Day Divorce Recovery Bible Study
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Day 1: Who You Are Now
"Don't be afraid; for you shall not be ashamed: neither be confounded; for you shall not be disappointed: for you shall forget the shame of your youth; and the reproach of your widowhood you shall remember no more. For your Maker is your husband; Yahweh of Armies is his name: and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; the God of the whole earth shall he be called.
Open.
You filled out a form at the doctor's office last week.
Marital status: Single. Married. Divorced. Widowed. Separated.
Your pen hovered over the boxes for a long time.
For decades, you knew who you were. You were someone's husband. Someone's wife. Half of a couple. Your name was always said with theirs, like one word. Bob-and-Linda. Mike-and-Sarah. The Christmas cards had both names. The friends were couple-friends. Your whole identity was woven into us.
Now there's no us. And you're not quite sure who you are anymore.
That's normal. Losing a long marriage often means losing a big piece of your identity. But here's the good news: the deepest part of who you are was never in that box on the form.
Text.
"Do not be afraid, for you will not be put to shame; do not be intimidated, for you will not be humiliated. For you will forget the shame of your youth and will remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your husband is your Maker — the LORD of Hosts is His name — the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth." — Isaiah 54:4–5
Your husband is your Maker.
God spoke those words to people who felt abandoned, ashamed, and alone. Like a wife cast off. And He said: I am your husband now. I'm the one who made you. I'm the one who redeems you. You will not be put to shame.
This is a promise for every abandoned spouse, man or woman. Your Maker is committed to you. He's not walking out. He's not trading you in. He's not changing His mind.
And the Bible is full of other names He gives you, names that have nothing to do with marriage:
- "Behold what manner of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God." (1 John 3:1). His child.
- "You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession" (1 Peter 2:9). Chosen.
- "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works" (Ephesians 2:10). His masterpiece, with a purpose.
- "I have called you by your name; you are Mine!" (Isaiah 43:1). Called by name. His.
You were someone's spouse. That was a beautiful, important role. But it was never the deepest truth about you. Before you were ever married, you were God's. And you still are.
Heart.
Who were you before the marriage? What did you love? What dreams did you set aside?
And who is God calling you to be now?
Practice.
Write a new "identity statement" for yourself, built on Scripture. Something like:
"I am a child of God. I am chosen. I am called by name. I am God's workmanship, created for good works. My Maker is my husband. I will not be put to shame."
Put it on your bathroom mirror. Read it every morning.
And then do one thing this week that reconnects you with you: a hobby you dropped, a class you always wanted to take, a place you've always wanted to visit, a friend from long ago.
Prayer.
Lord, I don't know who I am without them.
But You do. You knew me before I was married. You'll know me forever.
You are my Maker and my Redeemer. You've called me by name. I am Yours. Help me discover who You made me to be, in this new season. Amen.