If You Are in Danger
If you are being hurt, threatened, or controlled by your spouse or ex-spouse, your safety comes first. Nothing in this study — including the chapters on forgiveness and reconciliation — asks you to stay in or return to a dangerous situation. In the U.S., call 911 in an emergency, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (or text START to 88788).
If you have thoughts of ending your life, or feel you can’t go on, please reach out today. Call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S.), or go to the nearest emergency room. Then tell a pastor, a friend, or a family member. You are worth saving, and this pain is not the end of your story.
This study is not a substitute for professional care. Divorce after a long marriage is one of the most stressful events a person can experience. A licensed Christian counselor can help in ways a devotional can’t. Seeking help is not a lack of faith. It’s wisdom.
This week: Carrying the Family Forward
The house, the money, the kids, and the help you need
This is week 3 of 5 in the Divorce Recovery series. Each day has Open, Text, Heart, Practice, and Prayer.
For small groups
- What practical task has felt most overwhelming since your marriage ended? Who has helped (or could help) with it?
- Read 2 Kings 4:1–7. What “little jar” do you have in your house?
- What boundary do you need most right now? What makes it hard to set?
Related: Divorce Recovery: When the Ground Gives Way (7 days)
Related: Divorce Recovery: The Honest Ache (7 days)
Week 3: Carrying the Family Forward (7 days)
Week 3 of Divorce Recovery is for the practical load: the house, the bills, the kids, and the help you need. You do not have to carry every jar alone.
If You Are in Danger
If you are being hurt, threatened, or controlled by your spouse or ex-spouse, your safety comes first. Nothing in this study — including the chapters on forgiveness and reconciliation — asks you to stay in or return to a dangerous situation. In the U.S., call 911 in an emergency, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (or text START to 88788).
If you have thoughts of ending your life, or feel you can't go on, please reach out today. Call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S.), or go to the nearest emergency room. Then tell a pastor, a friend, or a family member. You are worth saving, and this pain is not the end of your story.
This study is not a substitute for professional care. Divorce after a long marriage is one of the most stressful events a person can experience. A licensed Christian counselor can help in ways a devotional can't. Seeking help is not a lack of faith. It's wisdom.
This week: Carrying the Family Forward
The house, the money, the kids, and the help you need
This is week 3 of 5 in the Divorce Recovery series. Each day has Open, Text, Heart, Practice, and Prayer.
For small groups
- What practical task has felt most overwhelming since your marriage ended? Who has helped (or could help) with it?
- Read 2 Kings 4:1–7. What "little jar" do you have in your house?
- What boundary do you need most right now? What makes it hard to set?
Related: Divorce Recovery: When the Ground Gives Way (7 days)
Sign in to start this plan and track progress.
Preview of day 1. Start the plan to track progress through each day.
Day 1: Wisdom for the Overwhelmed
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him.
Open.
The pile on the kitchen table keeps getting taller.
Mortgage statement. Insurance renewal. A letter from the attorney. The kids' school forms. A tax document you don't understand, because your spouse always handled that part. The car needs new tires. The water heater is making a noise. And you're supposed to decide what to do about the house, the retirement accounts, custody schedules, and health insurance, all at once, while you can barely remember to eat.
For thirty years, maybe, you divided the work. One of you paid the bills. One of you handled the kids' schedules. One of you knew how to talk to the bank. Now it's all yours.
And you feel completely unqualified.
Text.
"Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." — James 1:5
Three things in that verse are worth underlining.
"If any of you lacks wisdom." It's not a scolding. It's an assumption. Of course you'll lack wisdom sometimes. Everybody does.
"Who gives generously… without finding fault." God doesn't roll His eyes when you ask. He doesn't say, "You should have learned this years ago." He gives generously, with no lecture attached.
"And it will be given to him." Not might. Will.
Solomon was a young man when he became king, and he felt exactly like you do: overwhelmed, in over his head. He told God, "I am only a little child, not knowing how to go out or come in" (1 Kings 3:7). Instead of asking for riches or long life, he asked for "an understanding heart" (1 Kings 3:9).
And God gave it.
But here's something important. God's wisdom often comes through people. Proverbs says it over and over: "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed" (Proverbs 15:22).
Asking God for wisdom and asking good people for advice are not opposites. Often, the answer to the first prayer is the second.
Heart.
What decision is weighing on you most right now?
And who are the "many advisers" God might be putting in your path to help with it?
Practice.
Make a list of decisions in front of you. Then sort them into three groups:
- Urgent and important (deadlines, safety, money due now)
- Important but not urgent (can wait a few weeks)
- Can wait (big life decisions that are better made later)
Here's a principle counselors often recommend: where you can, avoid making major, permanent decisions in the first months after a crisis. Selling the house, moving across the country, quitting your job: wait if you can, until the fog lifts. Some decisions can't wait, of course. For those, get help.
And get good help: a reputable family law attorney, a financial advisor or trustworthy accountant, and if needed, a counselor. Ask your pastor or trusted friends for recommendations. You don't have to know everything. You just have to know who to ask.
Prayer.
Lord, I'm in over my head. Like Solomon, I feel like a little child, not knowing how to go out or come in.
You promised wisdom to anyone who asks. I'm asking.
Give me an understanding heart. And bring wise people around me: honest advisers, good counsel, people who know what I don't. Amen.