If You Are in Danger
If you are being hurt, threatened, or controlled by your spouse or ex-spouse, your safety comes first. Nothing in this study — including the chapters on forgiveness and reconciliation — asks you to stay in or return to a dangerous situation. In the U.S., call 911 in an emergency, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (or text START to 88788).
If you have thoughts of ending your life, or feel you can’t go on, please reach out today. Call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S.), or go to the nearest emergency room. Then tell a pastor, a friend, or a family member. You are worth saving, and this pain is not the end of your story.
This study is not a substitute for professional care. Divorce after a long marriage is one of the most stressful events a person can experience. A licensed Christian counselor can help in ways a devotional can’t. Seeking help is not a lack of faith. It’s wisdom.
Before You Begin
Nobody plans for this chapter.
You planned the wedding. You planned the kids’ birthdays, the vacations, the retirement you were going to share. Maybe you were already picturing grandbabies on the porch.
And then one ordinary day, the floor gave way.
Maybe it was a conversation at the kitchen table: “I’m not happy. I haven’t been for a long time.” Maybe it was a text message you weren’t supposed to see. A credit card charge that didn’t add up. A suitcase by the door. Maybe it was twenty years. Maybe it was thirty-five.
However it came, it came. And now you’re standing in the rubble of a life you thought was solid, trying to figure out how to pay the mortgage, what to tell the kids, and how to get out of bed tomorrow.
If that’s you, please hear this first: you are not alone, and you are not finished.
This study won’t fix everything in thirty-five days. Grief doesn’t keep a calendar. But it will walk with you, one day at a time, through the hardest season most people ever face. Each week has its own focus:
- Week 1 — When the Ground Gives Way. Surviving the shock.
- Week 2 — The Honest Ache. Grief, anger, and the wound of betrayal.
- Week 3 — Carrying the Family Forward. The house, the money, the kids, and the help you need.
- Week 4 — Forgiveness and Freedom. What forgiveness is, what it isn’t, and the hard question of reconciliation.
- Week 5 — The Story Isn’t Over. Who you are now, and the future God is still writing.
Each day has five parts:
- Open — a moment from real life.
- Text — what the Word says.
- Heart — a question to sit with, honestly.
- Practice — one small thing to do today.
- Prayer — words to start with, if you can’t find your own.
Some days you’ll read every word. Some days you’ll only manage the prayer. Both are fine. If you miss a day, don’t start over. Just pick up where you are. God isn’t grading this.
And if you can, don’t walk it alone. Read it with a trusted friend, a small group, or a divorce recovery group at a local church. Healing happens faster in company.
A word from me
I didn’t write this from a distance.
Years ago, my own marriage ended. I know the shock. I know the sleepless nights and the long drives where you finally let yourself cry. I tried reconciliation. I prayed for it, worked for it, hoped for it. It didn’t work for my family. I’ve learned that it does work for some, and I’ll talk honestly about that in Week 4.
What I didn’t know then was what God was going to do next.
For years I had prayed for a wife who would open the Bible with me, pray with me, and sit beside me in church. God answered that prayer, in His time and in His way, and He opened my eyes to see it. My wife and I walked through our own valleys to get here. Now we have friends in their forties and fifties walking through the same valley, and that’s why this study exists.
I can’t promise your story will look like mine. But I can promise you the same God. He was there in the worst of my nights. He’ll be there in yours.
— Randy
This week: When the Ground Gives Way
Surviving the shock
This is week 1 of 5 in the Divorce Recovery series. Each day has Open, Text, Heart, Practice, and Prayer.
For small groups
- What has surprised you most about how your body and mind have responded to this loss?
- Elijah believed he was “the only one left.” When have you felt that way? Who has shown you otherwise?
- What’s one “manna for today” moment you experienced this week?
Related: Verse of the Week
Related: Verse Study Card
Related: The Story Isn’t Over: A Free 35-Day Divorce Recovery Bible Study
Week 1: When the Ground Gives Way (7 days)
You didn't see it coming. After all those years, the person who promised forever walked away. Week 1 of Divorce Recovery walks with you through the shock — one day at a time — toward the truth you can't feel yet: God is still here.
If You Are in Danger
If you are being hurt, threatened, or controlled by your spouse or ex-spouse, your safety comes first. Nothing in this study — including the chapters on forgiveness and reconciliation — asks you to stay in or return to a dangerous situation. In the U.S., call 911 in an emergency, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (or text START to 88788).
If you have thoughts of ending your life, or feel you can't go on, please reach out today. Call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S.), or go to the nearest emergency room. Then tell a pastor, a friend, or a family member. You are worth saving, and this pain is not the end of your story.
This study is not a substitute for professional care. Divorce after a long marriage is one of the most stressful events a person can experience. A licensed Christian counselor can help in ways a devotional can't. Seeking help is not a lack of faith. It's wisdom.
Before You Begin
Nobody plans for this chapter.
You planned the wedding. You planned the kids' birthdays, the vacations, the retirement you were going to share. Maybe you were already picturing grandbabies on the porch.
And then one ordinary day, the floor gave way.
Maybe it was a conversation at the kitchen table: "I'm not happy. I haven't been for a long time." Maybe it was a text message you weren't supposed to see. A credit card charge that didn't add up. A suitcase by the door. Maybe it was twenty years. Maybe it was thirty-five.
However it came, it came. And now you're standing in the rubble of a life you thought was solid, trying to figure out how to pay the mortgage, what to tell the kids, and how to get out of bed tomorrow.
If that's you, please hear this first: you are not alone, and you are not finished.
This study won't fix everything in thirty-five days. Grief doesn't keep a calendar. But it will walk with you, one day at a time, through the hardest season most people ever face. Each week has its own focus:
- Week 1 — When the Ground Gives Way. Surviving the shock.
- Week 2 — The Honest Ache. Grief, anger, and the wound of betrayal.
- Week 3 — Carrying the Family Forward. The house, the money, the kids, and the help you need.
- Week 4 — Forgiveness and Freedom. What forgiveness is, what it isn't, and the hard question of reconciliation.
- Week 5 — The Story Isn't Over. Who you are now, and the future God is still writing.
Each day has five parts:
- Open — a moment from real life.
- Text — what the Word says.
- Heart — a question to sit with, honestly.
- Practice — one small thing to do today.
- Prayer — words to start with, if you can't find your own.
Some days you'll read every word. Some days you'll only manage the prayer. Both are fine. If you miss a day, don't start over. Just pick up where you are. God isn't grading this.
And if you can, don't walk it alone. Read it with a trusted friend, a small group, or a divorce recovery group at a local church. Healing happens faster in company.
A word from me
I didn't write this from a distance.
Years ago, my own marriage ended. I know the shock. I know the sleepless nights and the long drives where you finally let yourself cry. I tried reconciliation. I prayed for it, worked for it, hoped for it. It didn't work for my family. I've learned that it does work for some, and I'll talk honestly about that in Week 4.
What I didn't know then was what God was going to do next.
For years I had prayed for a wife who would open the Bible with me, pray with me, and sit beside me in church. God answered that prayer, in His time and in His way, and He opened my eyes to see it. My wife and I walked through our own valleys to get here. Now we have friends in their forties and fifties walking through the same valley, and that's why this study exists.
I can't promise your story will look like mine. But I can promise you the same God. He was there in the worst of my nights. He'll be there in yours.
— Randy
This week: When the Ground Gives Way
Surviving the shock
This is week 1 of 5 in the Divorce Recovery series. Each day has Open, Text, Heart, Practice, and Prayer.
For small groups
- What has surprised you most about how your body and mind have responded to this loss?
- Elijah believed he was "the only one left." When have you felt that way? Who has shown you otherwise?
- What's one "manna for today" moment you experienced this week?
Related: Verse of the Week
Related: Verse Study Card
Related: The Story Isn’t Over: A Free 35-Day Divorce Recovery Bible Study
Sign in to start this plan and track progress.
Preview of day 1. Start the plan to track progress through each day.
Day 1: When the Floor Falls Out
Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.
Open.
You remember exactly where you were.
People say that about national tragedies. Where were you when the towers fell? Where were you when you heard the news?
You have your own moment like that now. The words. The room. The way the light came through the window. The strange way time seemed to stop while everything else kept moving. A dog barked somewhere. The dishwasher hummed. And your whole life split into two pieces: before, and after.
Since then, you've been walking around in a fog. You go to work. You answer texts. You buy groceries. But there's a part of you still standing in that room, unable to believe it.
Twenty-six years. Thirty-one years. How could this happen to us?
If that's where you are today, you don't need a lecture. You don't need a five-step plan. You need to know one thing.
God is close.
Text.
"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted; He saves the contrite in spirit." — Psalm 34:18
Look at where God stands in that verse.
Not far off, waiting for you to get it together. Not on a mountaintop, waiting for you to climb up to Him. Near. Right next to the one whose heart is in pieces.
David wrote those words, and he knew a thing or two about having the floor fall out. He'd been betrayed by a king he served faithfully. Hunted like an animal. Run out of his own home. He wrote this psalm while pretending to be insane just to escape with his life (you can read the backstory in 1 Samuel 21).
Not exactly a man with it all together.
And yet that's the man who tells us: The LORD is near to the brokenhearted.
Here's the beautiful thing about a broken heart. It's open. All the walls came down at once. And sometimes the very place where everything fell apart becomes the place where we finally meet God for real.
Jesus said it this way: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" (Matthew 5:4).
Notice He didn't say "Blessed are those who have stopped mourning." He said blessed are those in it. The ones still crying. The ones still in the fog. That's who He promises to comfort.
You're not too broken for God. You're exactly the kind of broken He comes close to.
Heart.
What do you need God to know today?
Not what you think you should feel. Not the churchy answer. What's actually true right now?
Maybe it's "I'm scared." Maybe it's "I'm furious." Maybe it's "I don't even know if I believe You're there."
He can handle all of it. He already knows. But something happens in you when you say it out loud.
Practice.
Find a quiet place today. Your car counts. So does the shower.
Say one honest sentence to God. Just one. Don't dress it up.
Then sit for one minute in silence. You don't have to feel anything. Just let Him be near, the way the verse promises.
Prayer.
Lord, I don't know how to pray about this. I barely know how to breathe.
You say You're near to the brokenhearted. That's me. I'm holding You to that promise.
I don't need answers today. I just need You close. Please stay. Amen.